


[MST] TIME TO CLEAN THE CLAAAASSROOM

by Ki_no_Shirayuki



Series: 型染 — Katazome [4]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfiction, Childhood, Cooking, Diary/Journal, Gen, MST3k-Style Riffing, New Year's Fluff, New Years, Spring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 01:45:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9470048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/pseuds/Ki_no_Shirayuki
Summary: A writer's-block-induced MST that Yamanami takes no part in, but will be uploaded to Katazome anyway due to personal rules.In which a certain child trio read their teacher's diary.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Wish This Year to be Full of Laughter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8852095) by [Ki_no_Shirayuki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/pseuds/Ki_no_Shirayuki). 



> So, I wish everyone a happy Lunar New Year!

**Katsura:** _(frustrated)_ Come on Gintoki, carry that box over here quickly! Don't slack off, sensei won't be too pleased if we don't get spring cleaning over with this morning.  
**Gintoki** **:** Yes, Your Highness… _(something falls out from the box)_  
**Takasugi:** Hmm? What's that?  
**Gintoki:** Oh, just a notebook… _(opens and reads through it) (wicked grin)_  
**Takasugi:** So?  
**Gintoki:** You guys won't believe this! _(whispers)_ I believe I've found sensei's diary!  
**Katsura:** Now, don't you remember what he said about reading other people's diaries? It's bad! Put that back in the box immediately! We still have a lot of cleaning to do!  
**Gintoki:** What are you gonna do if I don't? Besides, this notebook is old and _(flicks through it)_ all its pages are written anyway. Sensei probably don't even remember about it. Come on, I know you wanna read this too.  
**Katsura:** … Fine, as long as we read one entry only and go right back to cleaning afterwards.  
**Takasugi:** How about we read the last one?… Oh, look at the date, this was from last year's New Year.  
**Gintoki:** This is gonna be awesome.

* * *

_Getting into the kitchen with these three little troublemakers can only mean one thing._

Chaos.

 _It all began the moment I told them to retrieve the_ o-jubako, _that lovely lacquered, three-tiered box that we use to prepare the traditional New Year's meal. To be honest, it was a mistake on my part for having placed it_ a little bit _too high on the cupboard above the kitchen sink,_  
**Gintoki:** Was it that he placed it a little bit too high, or was it that a certain someone wasn't tall enough?  
**Takasugi:** Shut up.

 _but I'd be damned if I say I didn't hide my laugh seeing their climbing on each other's shoulders before inevitably collapsing and wincing in pain and muttering accusations against each other afterwards._    
**Katsura:** Stop! I said stop!  
**Gintoki:** _(ignores him)_ If it weren't for this dwarf, I'd have been able to get it!  
**Takasugi:** As if you were that tall anyway, you white-haired idiot!

 _"Sorry, I forgot where I left it since last year." I said, chuckling, as I reached for the box and handed it to them, "now you can go clean it." Gintoki was the first to take it from my hands, giving me that_ oh so adorable _scowl and pout that I couldn't help but grin in response._  
**Gintoki:** After I just fell flat on my butt… _(glares at the other two)_  
**Katsura:** Did I say cut it out already?

 _Not that I don't get_ frustrated _working with them sometimes, especially Shinsuke and Gintoki - look, they're already drenching after I asked them to rinse the vegetables - I had at one point or another even considered giving up altogether and go buy a ready-made_ osechi _meal at the nearest convenience store._  
**Gintoki:** Next year I'm _so_ going to mess up so bad sensei will really have to go buy a ready-made one!  
**Takasugi:** Like I'll let that happen!  
**Gintoki:** What, because you're gonna make it so that only you alone get to make osechi together with sensei, right?  
**Takasugi:** _(enraged)_ I'm gonna kill you…  
**Katsura:** _(deadpan)_ Get back on topic plz.

 _Even Gintoki brought this up once, saying we are "probably the only people still preparing_ osechi _by ourselves in the whole of Edo", to which I reply, "Don't you think it more fun this way?"._  
**Gintoki:** No, I don't!

 _Sure, buying ready-made food saves time and spares the children from the dangers they may get into, what with Shinsuke and Gintoki's constant bickering,_  
**Gintoki and Takasugi:** Then you should do it and save us from having to get into the kitchen already, sensei!

 _but I stand firm in my belief that having them help out around the kitchen is no less valuable a lesson for them than what I teach during school hours._  
**All three:** Oh sensei.

 _It is also, yes, a lot more_ fun; _I'm not going to fool myself, this is what I look forward to the most every New Year._  
**Katsura:** _(laughs)_ So _this_ is what he enjoys the most about New Year… Couldn't have expected…  
**Takasugi:** _(blushes)_  
**Gintoki:** Saw it.  
**Takasugi:** Wut?  
**Gintoki:** Nothin'.

 _I never let the children get close to the fire, only making them prepare the ingredients while I do all the cooking. Watching them do their work while waiting for whatever on the stove to cook - ah, the boiled prawns are almost ready - brings me immense joy. These are three unique children, each with their own distinctive personalities and styles, and it really shows. After removing the prawns from the pot, I glance at Kotarou standing next to me at the kitchen counter slicing_ kamaboko _fish cake; he works the knife like he does the sword, paying close attention to detail and accuracy, making sure each and every slice is the same size and thickness._  
**Gintoki:** Ya sure ya needed to be that careful? It all went into your stomach anyway.  
**Takasugi:** It's clear you have never eaten sushi.  
**Gintoki:** _(baffled)_ Your mom and dad let you eat that stuff? Eww!  
**Takasugi:** Ha, clearly you don't have any taste for culinary! I doubt your sorry tongue can taste anything other than horrifyingly sweet even.  
**Gintoki:** Oh, don't go all food critic on me, Richie Rich!  
**Katsura:** I'm not Richie Rich, I'm Katsura!  
**Gintoki and Takasugi:** Ain't nobody talking about you!

 _He does everything with the same serious attitude he gives his studies and training. By the gods, he can quite possibly make a renowned sushi chef in the future had he shown more interest in cooking._  
**Gintoki:** And been less airheaded.  
**Katsura:** I'm not airheaded, I'm Katsura!

 _Meanwhile, Shinsuke having been assigned the task of peeling sweet potatoes for the_ kuri-kinton, _sweet potato paste with chestnuts,_  
**Gintoki:** Now why did sensei let shortstack prepare that and not me?  
**Katsura:** Because every time you make any remotely sweet food, it always ends up so sweet nobody else but you are able to eat it.

 _would very much like to work alone uninterrupted as usual, that lovable loner, but not when Gintoki, having already finished peeling the carrots for the_ namasu _salad, is around. Seriously, that Gintoki, always trying to finish his work as quickly as possible for the sake of calling Shinsuke a slow-poke, among other things._  
**Gintoki:** No, you were even slower than that.  
**Takasugi:** Shut. Up.

 _By now, Shinsuke seems to be at his limit, as he simply tosses the not-yet-fully-peeled potato and the peeler back into the bowl before him and approaches me, squeezing in between me and Kotarou, making him move the cutting board away a little to make room. "Gintoki," I scold him, "why are you fooling around already? You haven't even peeled the_ daikon _yet! As punishment, not only do you have to slice the carrots and_ daikon, _you also have to continue where Shinsuke left off and finish peeling the sweet potatoes,_  
**Gintoki:** … And yet he still didn't let me add sugar to the mashed potato paste; like, he didn't even let me get close to the jar of sugar the entire time!  
**Katsura and Takasugi:** For obvious reasons.

 _or no_ kuri-kinton, _no_ kuromame _beans, no anything sweet for you on New Year's Day." I then turn to Shinsuke, "You can go fetch four eggs so we can make_ datemaki _rolled omelet. This is your first time doing this, so listen closely: add two tablespoons_ mirin, _one sugar, two_ dashi _stock, a little soy sauce and beat the eggs, after that add the tiny bits of fish meat Kotarou has already sliced._  
**Gintoki:** _(yawns)_

 _Understand?" he nods, "By the way, do not add any more than one tablespoon of sugar. Every year Gintoki makes datemaki, he is the only one who can eat it."_  
**Katsura and Takasugi:** See?  
**Gintoki:** Are you two ganging up on me?

 _I can hear a shocked_ whaaat _coming from the silver-head, "Of course, we'll reserve a fourth of the egg making it extra-sweet… as long as Gintoki finishes peeling and cutting his vegetables. Kotarou, go help Shinsuke make the eggs, I'll boil the black soybeans."_  
**Katsura:** Ah, by the way, do you remember the cooking analogy sensei taught us yesterday? The order by which you should add the spices?  
**Gintoki:** _(double yawns)_  
**Takasugi:** Do you remember?  
**Katsura:** It's the _sa_ row of the alphabet: _sa_ ( _satou,_ sugar), _shi_ ( _shio_ , salt), _su_ ( _su,_ vinegar), _se_ ( _shouyu_ , soy sauce) and _so_ (miso).  
**Gintoki:** _(triple yawns)_  
**Katsura:** _(irritated)_ What is it?  
**Gintoki:** Well, since you can only cast the "back on topic" spell _exactly once_ per MST session and you have already done it…  
**Takasugi:** Have you ever tried doing it twice? What will happen?  
**Gintoki:** Dunno. Lemmie try. _(takes deep breath)_ GET BACK ON TOPIC PLZ!  
…  
…  
_(A frog jumps out of nowhere sticking its tongue out at him)_  
**Gintoki:** There ya go. 

 _Making_ osechi-ryouri _with these kids is no easy task, but it is exactly why I always look forward to it every New Year, even at an age when people say you should no longer enjoy it when another year has slipped away from your life._  
**Katsura:** Is he really that old?  
**Takasugi:** I don't know, he never tells us his age.  
**Gintoki:** Or maybe he's keeping it a secret from the ladies…  
**Takasugi:** _(glares)_  
**Gintoki:** Sorry, I forgot Mr.I-Got-a-Severe-Case-of-Teacher-Complex is here.

 _Yet, isn't it what New Year is really about: being with those you love the most and spending quality time with them? For me, seeing Gintoki begrudgingly scraping the peeler against the potato muttering curses under his breath_  
**Takasugi:** I hope you didn't cut your finger — or should I hope that you _did_?  
**Gintoki:** I'm gonna kill you.

 _while Kotarou scolds Shinsuke for letting a piece of broken shell get into the eggs_ again _never fails to bring a smile to my lips._  
**Shouyou:** _(silently comes up behind the three)_ What are you doing? Have you finished cleaning up?  
**All three kids:** … Uh oh.

**Author's Note:**

> I was discussing with deargodwhatisthatthing the other day about a cooking school AU… now I can't help imagining Takasugi as a self-proclaimed food critic tossing out creative criticism à la Gordon Ramsay at his rival Gintoki… XDD


End file.
